How age affects parenting.
There are many different kinds of parents. We could divide parents into two main groups. The first is the characteristics of a parent physically such as , age, health, how they might dress, and the amount of income they produce to raise that family , is one category. The other is the style or manner in which they parent or raise their children. They are all connected to one another , but I think that age is one of the most influential factors that affect parenting.
This is most evident in the teenage parent, which is one side of the age extreme. In the case with Jamie, who was a smart girl in high school, well liked and if you were to predict her future, would have foreseen a bright outlook for her. Then she 'fell in love'. Her grades began to fail and her personality changed, she seemed gloomily suddenly. Soon the school gossip circulated that Jamie was pregnant. She was not even sixteen years old yet. Attending a private Christian school which had a policy on pregnancy, Jamie was not allowed to stay in school. This same rule applied for the father as well. She could finish her year out at home but would not be allowed to come back. The school taught that God wanted his children to wait until marriage for sexual relations. Jamie remembered that fateful night and thought many times if only she hadn't given in to her boyfriends pressure. She would do anything to undo it . But she could not. She realized she had no idea how to raise a baby. Her parents kept reminding her that she was just a child herself when they found out, now she felt like one. She felt lonely, guilty, shameful and afraid. She knew she would keep the baby, abortion was not an option, but had no idea how she would raise it. Thankfully her parents would not kick her out on the streets and would help her raise her child. Not all teenage mothers are this lucky.
Jamie knew a life of hardship, she required social assistance , federal programs for single mothers as her parents lived pay check to pay check. Another mouth to feed, put a hardship on the entire household. Jamie never finished high school. When the baby got older and was able to go to preschool, Jamie found that she was reduced to the qualifications of working at a fast food restaurant or waitress. She later found a job doing laundry in the local hotel. She went out to the bars on the weekends hoping to meet a man. Yet, when she dated she found most boys were not interested in becoming instant Daddies. Eventually, her parents demanded that she move out, the meek child support she received from the father barely paid for the diapers. Once he learned she was pregnant, he wanted nothing to do with her. At times she found herself hating her child, the stress of the screaming , the mess, the confusion put her to the brink. What had she done?
This is the teenager, who by choice or by "accident", has become a parent; they can be single or married. However, many are girls who are left behind with their child, like Jamie who high school drop outs and remain unmarried a good portion of their life. As a result, their opportunity's in the future to secure a good job are greatly reduced. Because they themselves have not lived much of a life, they cannot bring life experience to their parenting. They do not have the necessary coping skills that come with a seasoned life. It is a child raising a child.
This affects ones ability to parent and ones over all effectiveness. It is clear to see in the case of Jamie how money becomes a large factor affecting parenting. Jamie was unable to provide many of the basics of child rearing and both her and her child had to go without. There is no greater strain than financial stress coupled with a new baby . The parent/parents are limited to a minimum wage job, social service programs, or family assistance. This dependence is hard on the parents morale and overall sense of well being. On a positive note, some teenage mothers pull themselves out of these difficult conditions, they have put themselves threw collage and have become contributing members to society while raising good healthy children. It seems to be the exception rather than the rule.
It is not secret to anyone that a teenage pregnancy is something to be avoided. The stigma it places on the mother and the child, the financial hurdles alone show us that it is better to wait. Such as the mid age parent does.
Kate and Brandon dated while in collage.
Bradon was in
pre med, while his girlfriend studied nursing. Their interest in helping others and in medicine was a factor in the strength of their relationship. They planed to wait until
Bradon was finished with his internship before they would get married.Kate wanted to start her family right after they got married and planned to work part time as a nurse while she raised her children.It was irmportant for them to have a good income, own
their own home, afford private school for
their kids and have a f
air amount of dispensable income for travel . They wanted to live in the suburbs of Chicago. Kate and Brandon knew what they wanted. They came from a good family background. Although they had financial obligations , the stress was minimal. They sent their kids to private school lived in a nice neighborhood and spent time traveling with their children. There children in return, were taught to made careful choices and the value of waiting to have children. The middle age parents, such as Kate and Brandon have the most to offer in a parenting relationship.
Finally, we have the older parent, those who had their children much later in life, This group would include men which can reach advanced age even into their 70s, but for the most part limits women to her forty’s or mid forties. These parents made a conscience decision to wait to bear children. Many factors are present, such as the women who elects to become a Dr. and has significant years of education ahead of her or wishes to focus on her career, perhaps in a corporate climate. For others, such as Renee, a quite, simple girl, who after collage began her teaching career. She did not date much , as her focus was on school. She lived with her parents in the guest house , kept to herself and was not much interested in dating. Then one day she found herself, in her home all alone, with her beloved cat and realized somehow that she might never get married, nor have the children that she put off. She wanted Mr. Right. She believed he would just show up one day, like a knight and scoop her up to happy ever after land. Now in her mid forties , the clock was ticking and coming to a halt.
Renee made a conscious decision. She labored over it for months. She had received an offer of marriage from an older gentlemen, many years her senior who she knew from her Church. She would except. She wanted children of her own. She realized after the birth of her baby , it would be her last. At forty five the Dr.s advised her against another pregnancy. She was elated with her gift of life. Menopause would be her next companion.
She had the nursery done months in advance, with all the finest furniture. She had the child's education funds set aside. She had the finest books to read to her new baby .Renee had read all the parenting books she could get her hands on. Her husband and herself lived a peaceful life and the baby gave them a renewed outlook and rigour. Until her husband fell ill. She knew that her child was teased in school when 'grandpa' picked him up. They did look more like grandparents in comparison to the other children's parents. Her child was only eight years old when his Daddy died. Renee in her mid fifties, felt the frailties of age, her body ached and she feared for her own health. If she were to die, what would happen to her child? She hadn't thought that out.
The older parent has much to offer his child. Financial stability, comfort and the benefits of their life experience however, the child faces a different stigma than does the teenage mother. In addition, the child is at risk of being orphaned threw death.
To conclude, from these stereotypes , a child and the parents benefit from waiting until they have children. They will more than likely have less financial stress, make better decisions and have more to offer. They will have the physical stamina that it takes to raise their family. They can be involved with
their kids, go to sporting events and share in the
psychical rigors of life